Umbrella-Less Rainy Days

Waiting for Rain pic“There’s someone out there for everyone!”

“It’ll happen when you least expect it.”

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Or, if you follow the How I Met Your Mother storyline, you may sympathize with Ted Mosby as I do, as he continually waits to meet his future spouse (it is hinted that she’ll be donning a yellow umbrella in future episodes), while his friends are already in committed relationships. How I love that show.

Going to a private university where the female to male ratio is about 3:1, AND having lived in an all-women’s dormitory for the past year, these are just some of the love life-related clichés I hear time and time again.

And then I usually encounter the girls who just can’t wait to get married and start families right after college. I smile and nod during these conversations, but I honestly can’t relate to this particular post-grad goal. Weren’t we all just scrambling to find prom dates a year ago?

While some of my female counterparts are already picking out wedding theme colors and bridesmaids’ dresses on Pinterest despite not yet receiving marriage proposals, I haven’t been able to picture myself getting married, moving into a house with a white picket fence, raising three kids, the whole nine yards. Not because I’m against it, I’m not, but for more complicated reasons…which is for another story.

I would venture to say that I am probably one of the few in my circle of friends and hallmates that is not currently in a relationship, “talking” (whatever that means), or otherwise involved. And when I’m asked about it, I usually receive one of the three exclamatory responses I already listed above.

Allow me to dispel each of the three clichés/myths:

“There’s someone out there for everyone!”

…or the whole “there’s-a-yellow-umbrella-for-everyone” theory. It’s nice to think about, but I’ve never really believed it. Not in a “Woe is me” kind of way, but let’s be honest…not everyone is meant to have a yellow umbrella. Two words: “nuns” and “monks.” I highly respect these groups of people, for committing their life to a calling they truly believe in enough to sacrifice what the rest of the world might deem a “happier” lifestyle. And there are plenty of other non-nuns or non-monks who have defied the concept of you-need-to-be-in-love-in-order-to-be-happy to embrace noble pursuits. Not everyone has to be in love with someone. Why not fall in love with charity? Or pursuing art and travel? Or becoming a better person? When I’m addressed about the topic of having children, I always joke that I hope that my vocation will be my baby, to love, care for, and dote upon. Except I don’t think I’m entirely joking…I really do hope that I fall into an incredible love affair with whatever my life calling is.

And on a perhaps less positive note, let’s face it – not everyone is meant to “have someone.” Just because Honey Boo-Boo Child’s mom has a boyfriend *shudder* doesn’t automatically mean everyone is entitled to one. No matter how unfair that seems; no matter how much I love being fooled by my favorite Disney movies for the duration of the film.

“It’ll happen when you least expect it.”

Fair enough, I can agree with this. But I’m pretty sure this rings true for any situation. Like pop quizzes. Or the cafeteria’s sudden shortage of gluten-free muffins (nope, not bitter about that at all). Or it (“it” being the sudden appearance of whom you think to be Ms. or Mr. Right) doesn’t have to happen at all, necessarily. Fate doesn’t have to hash out the same plot for everyone, right?

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Maybe if you’re waiting in line for fro-yo, but as far as I’m concerned, good things happen for those who get off their bums and go for it! Haha kidding, sort of.

I’ll admit to being slightly put off as the recipient to one of these responses. “Don’t worry about it; it’ll happen when it happens.” Well I wasn’t really worried, but thanks…

I don’t need a gent’s approval to feel okay about myself. Sure it would be nice, but at this point in my life, I’m working on gaining my own approval before seeking anyone else’s. And admittedly, it has been – and will continue to be – quite the journey.

Go on, hashtag me with #foreveralone. I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t suck, because it sometimes does, if you want the truth. When flying solo, there’s less inclination for me to go to dances on campus (no matter how much I love getting down), and/or seeing the film adaptation of Nicholas Sparks’ latest book. Actually that second one is true regardless of my stag status.

But on the plus side, I’ve been able to put a lot less time into picking out that day’s wardrobe or bothering as much as I used to with makeup, because the only one I care about impressing is myself.  And I’m not very high-maintenance when it comes to that sort of thing.

Oh, and I just remembered another bonus is that when I leave the country next spring, I won’t have to go through the whole painful “I-promise-you-I-will-not-be-swept-off-my-feet-by-a-charming-European-lad” talk with my significant other.

No, this wasn’t meant to come off as a feminist tirade. Nor is this the mantra of a superior, sassy independent chick. Just the musings of a college kid sitting with her laptop in the coffee shop, not looking out for a yellow umbrella outside the window, but not avoiding it either. Either way, I’ve always been fond of a stroll in the rain.


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